I called up one of my mentors within ActionCOACH because over past two years he has risen to the top 10 in our global rankings.  Considering that we are approaching 1500 coaching offices in over 25 countries, being in the top 10 is pretty darn good.  Fewer than 1% of our coaches make this list.

Chuck Kocher is an outgoing guy who was an executive in the information industry before he found his calling in business coaching.  He was very successful when I met him three years ago  and I can’t say I’m surprised at how high he has risen in the rankings.  ActionCOACH does a great job of tracking our coaches and publicizing the really successful ones.

The steps they’ve taken to get to the top get are shared and they, I expect, get bombarded with calls from other coaches who are trying to learn from the best of the best.  I was one of those callers.

We updated each other on what’s been happening and then I got to ask my question; “Chuck, what has made the biggest difference for you in your rise to the top?”  Without hesitation he gave me an answer that stunned me; “I crushed fear from every part of my life.”

It is an answer that has been stuck in my head for the better part of a month.

First, Chuck is not a guy with whom you would associate the word fear.  Second, fear and it’s silent partner; stress, have been showing up on my radar screen a lot lately.  In trying to understand how big a part fear plays in our life and how someone like Chuck can find and crush it from every part of his life I’ve learned some tricks which we play on ourselves.

We Hide Our Fears We don’t like to admit to fear so we hide it behind other emotions and words.  If something makes us jump back – we call it being startled.  Then we usually laugh it off or get angry at what startled us.  We say we “don’t like” networking when we are afraid being in a group of people we don’t know.  We say  we “don’t like” public speaking when we are simply afraid.  We often call fear being “nervous” or being “anxious”.   We say we “don’t like” cold calling when we are afraid of rejection.

Fear is healthy Fear is a healthy thing and we have substantial systems for dealing with things of which we should be afraid.  It is a good thing to be afraid of stepping in front of an onrushing bus.  Just thinking about doing such an ill-advised action should raise fear and stress in your mind and body.

Fear is unhealthy Fear causes stress.  Stress kills.  Stress shortens our lifespan.  Stress impairs our immune system.  Simply another case of too much of a good thing is a bad bad thing.

Fear is over supplied Our system of laws, safety regulations and cultural discouragement of personal violence have left us with, compared to our ancestors, very few real threats to our physical well being.  Lions, tigers and bears, gun fights, fisticuffs, sword fights or karate battles are far more the subject of fiction than our lives.  We seem to be left with a high capacity to feel fear and extremely reduced set of things to be feared.  Our fear systems don’t have much to do and so now apply themselves to things that can’t actually hurt us.  It is actually more dangerous to hunt for game in the woods with a sharp stick than make cold calls even though your stomach may tell you differently.

Courage is acting even though you are afraid It takes courage to overcome fear.  I’ve come to understand “crushing fear” as doing the things you are avoiding because of fear and doing them over and over until you no longer feel the fear.  I used to be extraordinarily afraid of public speaking.  I’ve now done it so much that I find it fun and look for opportunities to do it more.  People who knew me 10 years ago would be shocked.  One fear crushed – more to go.

Fear is a guide Do what you are afraid of doing.  I am working to increase my awareness of unfounded fears.  Unfounded fears lead me to avoiding things that I need to do.  In this way fear is a compass of what I need to do to become successful.  If you follow this advice make sure you respect well founded fears like stepping in front of a bus.  Disrespect the unfounded ones.

Fear and Stress I recently viewed a show on PBS entitled “Killer Stress.”  It was a big influence on this writing.  Here is a link to the show description (“Killer Stress”) and here is a link to a blog about the show (“Blog: How your baboon of a boss is killing you”).  Looking in to these will convince you to crush fear and lower your stress level and thereby become a better business person.