The “things are so bad…” conversation. Yesterday, this well educated and scarily smart business owner leaned closer over the table and whispered, “I think the real unemployment rate in Cleveland is probably over twenty percent.”  He went on to real off a bunch of facts and brutal realities about our area.  He capped it off with, of course, “Lebron really hurt this area.”

Boomtown. I was born in Cleveland and grew up in Elyria.  My father owned a construction company.  He moved us to Elyria in the early 60’s because it was booming.  For a year or two Elyria was the fastest growing city in the entire country.  Northeast Ohio was booming.  People were moving here from everywhere. 

We were at the top then.  We were making cars and steel and tires and machine parts and a whole bunch of other stuff and selling it everywhere.  Cash was being pumped into our region and people were following it.  Houses and schools and malls were being built and jobs were plentiful. 

Are we at the bottom now?  There were some down times between then and now.  The original oil crisis had lines at gas stations we’ve never seen again.  The original financial crisis had the savings and loan collapse and our government bail out plastered on the front pages.  Some say it is worse now.  Some think we are heading for a double dip. 

Boom then bust then?  So what did I say that stopped my friend and changed the nature of the conversation.  “Things come in cycles don’t they?”, I asked.  “You are saying we are at the bottom of the cycle right?  Well, what comes next?”  He brightened up a bit and asked, “So you’re saying we’ve got nowhere to go but up?”

We are in this together.  Belief is one thing action is another.  He sent me an email later on asking me for ideas on how we can help each other make money.  Now we’re talking! 

Action.  Don’t get your hopes up – get into action.  Positive attitude and positive thinking are important.  Positive action is necessary.  What are you willing to do?  Jim Rohn said, “Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.”  Ghandi said “be the change you want to see in the world.”  How can we be better – each of us has to work on ourselves – then we all become better.

Opportunity.  Here is just one little idea.  Positive cash flow is needed in our area.  Let’s focus on just that.  Companies that sell products and services outside Northeast Ohio bring cash into Northeast Ohio.  Let’s identify these companies and find them some referrals.  If you own such a company tell us about yourself so the rest of us can help you find business.  I just now created a Facebook page for this purpose.  It is http://www.facebook.com/pages/I-Refer-NEO/122978311079105?filter=1. Click now  and type in a sentence and a link to your website.  Take just this little action.  Let’s see what we can do together.

Better.  No matter how good we are – we can always be better.  I’m part of an organization dedicated to that belief.  What we’re learning from doing that with 10,000 business every week is available to you too.  Contact me (denniswillis@actioncoach.com).  Here is a link to a few videos of business owners of various size businesses who are succeeding at getting better results http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=actioncoach+testimonial&aq=0.

copyright@DennisWillis 2011,2012 Business Coach Ohio

Chuck Kocher is an outgoing guy who was an executive in the information industry before he found his calling in business coaching.  He was very successful when I met him three years ago  and I can’t say I’m surprised at how high he has risen in the rankings.  ActionCOACH does a great job of tracking our coaches and publicizing the really successful ones.

The steps they’ve taken to get to the top get are shared and they, I expect, get bombarded with calls from other coaches who are trying to learn from the best of the best.  I was one of those callers.

We updated each other on what’s been happening and then I got to ask my question; “Chuck, what has made the biggest difference for you in your rise to the top?”  Without hesitation he gave me an answer that stunned me; “I crushed fear from every part of my life.”

It is an answer that has been stuck in my head for the better part of a month.

First, Chuck is not a guy with whom you would associate the word fear.  Second, fear and it’s silent partner; stress, have been showing up on my radar screen a lot lately.  In trying to understand how big a part fear plays in our life and how someone like Chuck can find and crush it from every part of his life I’ve learned some tricks which we play on ourselves.

We Hide Our Fears We don’t like to admit to fear so we hide it behind other emotions and words.  If something makes us jump back – we call it being startled.  Then we usually laugh it off or get angry at what startled us.  We say we “don’t like” networking when we are afraid being in a group of people we don’t know.  We say  we “don’t like” public speaking when we are simply afraid.  We often call fear being “nervous” or being “anxious”.   We say we “don’t like” cold calling when we are afraid of rejection.

Fear is healthy Fear is a healthy thing and we have substantial systems for dealing with things of which we should be afraid.  It is a good thing to be afraid of stepping in front of an onrushing bus.  Just thinking about doing such an ill-advised action should raise fear and stress in your mind and body.

Fear is unhealthy Fear causes stress.  Stress kills.  Stress shortens our lifespan.  Stress impairs our immune system.  Simply another case of too much of a good thing is a bad bad thing.

Fear is over supplied Our system of laws, safety regulations and cultural discouragement of personal violence have left us with, compared to our ancestors, very few real threats to our physical well being.  Lions, tigers and bears, gun fights, fisticuffs, sword fights or karate battles are far more the subject of fiction than our lives.  We seem to be left with a high capacity to feel fear and extremely reduced set of things to be feared.  Our fear systems don’t have much to do and so now apply themselves to things that can’t actually hurt us.  It is actually more dangerous to hunt for game in the woods with a sharp stick than make cold calls even though your stomach may tell you differently.

Courage is acting even though you are afraid It takes courage to overcome fear.  I’ve come to understand “crushing fear” as doing the things you are avoiding because of fear and doing them over and over until you no longer feel the fear.  I used to be extraordinarily afraid of public speaking.  I’ve now done it so much that I find it fun and look for opportunities to do it more.  People who knew me 10 years ago would be shocked.  One fear crushed – more to go.

Fear is a guide Do what you are afraid of doing.  I am working to increase my awareness of unfounded fears.  Unfounded fears lead me to avoiding things that I need to do.  In this way fear is a compass of what I need to do to become successful.  If you follow this advice make sure you respect well founded fears like stepping in front of a bus.  Disrespect the unfounded ones.

Fear and Stress I recently viewed a show on PBS entitled “Killer Stress.”  It was a big influence on this writing.  Here is a link to the show description (“Killer Stress”) and here is a link to a blog about the show (“Blog: How your baboon of a boss is killing you”).  Looking in to these will convince you to crush fear and lower your stress level and thereby become a better business person.

copyright@DennisWillis 2011,2012 Business Coach Ohio

Fear is an ancient protector of our very skin from physical threat.  An ancient savior that has become a crippling nuisance when we need, for example, to speak publicly.  Fear has become a brain cramp when we try to talk to someone we find attractive.  It’s become a liability in our professional lives preventing us from picking up a phone to call a prospect.  It is as if fear has caused the phone to weigh ten thousand pounds.

Perhaps, in our bones, we still carry the old knowing that standing out in the crowd can attract a watching predator or a that approaching a potential mate can attract a violent competitor.  Odds are pretty slim, today, that you’ll be eaten or beaten for letting your light shine bright.  Few, however, do.

To shine you must relax your grip on fear.  Simple.  Really.  I’m serious.

It is a simple thing to start running fear out of your life.  You accept the fact that you use thoughts to drive up your fear.  You become aware of when you have such thoughts.  You replace them with other thoughts.  Repeat until fear is at a useful level.

Fire yourself up instead of beating yourself up. Negative thoughts are self demolition and work hand in hand with fear.  We lead our self to self – paralysis with this one-two punch combination.  Negative thoughts leave you feeling more vulnerable to potential predators and competitors.

The good news, you deal with your own negativity the same way you deal with your own fear.  Positive, courageous thoughts grow positive and courageous lives for ourselves.  Start listening to yourself.  Start upgrading your thoughts.  Start choosing to feel joyful instead of fearful.

Start talking to yourself positively.  Stop talking to yourself negatively and fearfully.  Here’s how.

1) Planned self talk.
2) Planned self listening.
3) Planned pattern interruption.

Now, here are the details.

1) Planned self talk.

Say good things to yourself out loud at least twice a day.   Listen to yourself and repeat so that you believe them.  Come up with a list of 20 things to say.  You must start them with “I am.”
Say things like:
I am in a state of joy.
I am happy.  OR  I am in the process of becoming happy.

2) Planned self listening.

Listen to your thoughts and write down the negative and fearful ones.
Categorize them.  Below are three links to articles on categorizing negative and fearful thinking. Create challenges and/or replacements.  Suggestions on how to do this are also in the articles below.

3) Planned pattern interruption.

Catch yourself talking yourself down or scaring yourself.  Stop yourself.  Substitute your challenges or replacements and feel better.Catch yourself saying to yourself “I’m horrible at  ____________” and simply think (and say) “I have an opportunity to be better at ____________.”

A simple process.  Now you have a simple choice.  To live in fear or joy.  I hope you pick the latter and start talking yourself up.

Articles
http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=empower_negativethinkingWS
http://els4kids.blogspot.com/2008/12/automatic-negative-thoughts-ants-ideas.html
http://www.byui.edu/CounselingCenter/Stress%20Management/Challenging%20Distorted%20Thinking.htm

copyright@DennisWillis 2011,2012 Business Coach Ohio